January felt like a lot of waiting. Mostly, waiting for February, so I can wait some more. This month I should begin to hear back from grad schools, and that process may go through March. But January felt slow and wasted. I tried to read many books, see many movies, enjoy myself. I've begun working on my Beauty and the Beast cross-stitch again in earnest. But it's hard when you know that you're really waiting for your life to be decided, and that those decisions will begin to trickle in come February. So, not only did I wait, I don't feel like I properly relaxed during the down time, because I couldn't forget that I was waiting.
But now it is February. February looks a bit more active. I should hear back-- for good or ill-- from at least one school this month. I have plans for Mardi Gras with Kay, and I could not be more excited (well, actually, I will be once I get my shoes and a bolero jacket to go with my dress). I can't wait for beignets and Cajun food. I can't wait for beads and masks and costumes and parades. And after Mardi Gras, hopefully a trip up to Philly to play tourist and see some friends from my study abroad program; we have come to the five-year anniversary of that beautiful semester.
And hopefully I won't spend so much time alone this month. I like having a bit of space for myself, but January felt positively lonely at times. Such loneliness can really make a girl feel like a crazy cat lady. I hope February feels a bit more populated.
While today dawned cloudy and the temperatures keep dropping, February brings the promise of spring right around the corner, another "last" spring in Williamsburg. This is a golden time of freedom for me, so now I just need to seize it. Day trips, nights out with friends, sleeping in without guilt-- these are the things I aspire to for February.